One can say so much with words..... share warmth, sadness, love and pain........ poetry has been a method of putting one's thoughts and feelings in a tangible form for centuries. Some of us do it well, some do not. I suppose it is like physical beauty - in the 'eye' of the beholder. I've written poetry before these, but having been so mobile the last few years since leaving my husband I no longer have copies of my earlier works - so we shall begin from this point on. If poetry is something you enjoy then I hope you find something in my words below. If not, then I'd suggest you explore other web pages. - If you do continue on and read the words below, think on this - words can betray the pain that hides behind a pretty smile - but like any face you look at as you pass a person on the street, how true are words? What more can hide behind them still?

    Gail
    Searching
    Written about 1997? while I was trying to find direction in my life. It was only months later that I finally found the strength and direction to step out and be free, to step out in search of peace.
    Dizzy Dreams
    Written 1998 for a dear friend who had spent many sleepless nights worrying over his suicidal son. His son is ok now, and hopefully they're both having better nights now.
    Measure of Pain
    Written February, 2001 - still a bit lost in pain as is apparent from the poem
    The Year 2000
    Written March 2001 for a poetry contest - hard to put limitations on words, but with the limitations they give I thought through my life the previous year trying to figure how I'd ended up where I was, and how to find direction.
    Hope
    April, 2001 - They say hope runs eternal -
    Confusion
    May, 2001 - as does confusion I find.

    Searching

    ~How many times do we look in the mirror and wonder...
    What is life? Why am I here? Where does the time go?
    Our lives are so busy, yet what do we do?
    We run here, there, scrambling to get done all that must be done,
    Yet we never finish, always there is more.
    More to be done, more to be cared for, more to face.
    Time slips by, passing through our grasp,
    Defying us to try to stop it, to try to finish all that must be done.
    Will there be no end? Will there be no rest? Will we find no peace and contentment?
    ~Our sanity hangs in balance, teetering dangerously as we struggle.
    Again we look in the mirror, and what do we see?
    Exhaustion, confusion, sadness, and pain.
    Time comes to pause, to think, to find what lies beyond.
    There must be more. There must be reason. There must be sanity.
    We look deeper. Our mind opens and there is truth.
    We make our own lives, often finding that for which we seek.
    Beneath the exhaustion, confusion, sadness, and pain... there is more,
    A smile hides deep, struggling to find freedom, to be shared.
    ~Can it be so easy? To just pause, rest, look around, and share a smile?
    Perhaps finding peace and contentment comes in knowing when to accept them.
    Knowing when to rest, when to pause and just look, to know when to share a smile.
    To remember, that life was not meant to be simple, but to be experienced.
    Life is a never-ending journey, and what we find is often up to us,
    If we can only see, and hold to our sanity, perhaps someday we will understand.
    Until then, we hold on, and continue... always searching, always wondering, never-ending....

    Dizzy Dreams

    the nights are long
    thoughts race through the mind
    how can sleep come if we cannot find peace?
    you feel the tension from the worry
    the hurt and pain are so strong
    if you listen closely
    you hear the pounding of your heart
    you feel the blood pulse through your body
    nervousness.... tension
    worry.... pain...
    these things are so strong
    how will you move beyond them?
    how will you find sleep?
    how will you dream?

    silently you sit
    staring into darkness
    pleading with god for peace
    pleading for answers and direction
    he watches from overhead
    feeling your pain
    hearing your prayers
    and hoping you will understand
    knowing that the trials you endure
    will build strength for the future
    he sits quietly as he watches
    feeling the love of a father for his son
    he will watch over you though you cannot feel his presence
    silently you sit in the darkness still....

    your eyes close but sleep does not come
    you listen to your heart beat
    you feel your blood running through your veins
    then... something strange
    what can it be?
    in the darkness comes a sound
    gentle like the wind
    you feel it blowing gently round
    you hear it, you feel it but what can it be?
    you stare into the darkness
    your eyes straining to see that which you feel and hear
    nothing
    only darkness and emptiness
    only pain and sadness

    still.... it comes
    closer, ever closer
    yes, there is something there
    something approaches in the darkness
    a cloud perhaps?
    there is a warmth and strangeness in what approaches
    the breeze that you feel blows stronger
    you must free your mind if you are to see
    you must break free of the restraints that hold you
    you sit back, your body goes limp
    you can see nothing but the distant shape approaching
    you can hear nothing but a soft wind whispering in your ears
    you can feel nothing but a softness cradling your body
    you sit and wait, beginning to feel wonder and curiosity

    as you watch the shape begins to take form
    a form you can recognize
    a form that feels your heart with joy
    a form that would bring not peace but dreams
    an unmistakable smile shows in the darkness
    eyes with depth that stare into your soul
    it does not make you feel uncomfortable though
    you want to reach out but still the smile and eyes are too distant
    you cannot see to whom they belong
    only a shadowy figure appears in the darkness
    but the eyes and smile are unmistakably those of a friend
    it approaches..... closer.... closer..
    a hand reaches out
    but you cannot reach so far

    you focus on the figure
    still the wind whispering in your ears
    the whispering takes form of words
    ~ come with me ..... reach out to me~
    the form floats closer in the darkness
    you cannot look away
    but stare in wonder
    trying desperately to reach out
    the hand comes closer
    the eyes grow stronger
    the warmth encircles you
    the voice fills your mind
    softly you feel the touch of the hand
    and reach out to take it

    just as your hand touches that in the darkness
    it slips away again
    it's gone!
    there is no sound
    there is no wind whispering
    there are no eyes, no smile
    only darkness again
    you sit and wonder what happened?
    what could have gone wrong?
    where is the wind that whispers in your ear?
    where has the smile of friendship gone?
    where are the eyes that look into the soul?
    where is the hand that touched but briefly?
    you reach out again into the darkness... hoping....

    you must release yourself for it to come again
    you must let your mind be free
    only in freeing your mind can you dream
    only in dreaming can the figure return....
    there, in the distance it appears again
    the form, the smile, the eyes...
    and the hand again reaches out to you
    this time as you reach out it takes hold
    you feel yourself lifted
    and you see the form clearly
    there in front of you is a friend known to you as dizzy
    a smile stretched from ear to ear
    her eyes twinkling mischievously
    she holds your hand firmly then turns away

    time stands still as you begin to soar through space
    reality becomes a dream
    dream becomes reality
    you feel as though you are flying
    but where can she be leading you?
    you have no choice but to follow and hold tight to the hand of friendship
    occasionally being warmed by the smile as she glances back
    her eyes still twinkling with mischief
    still reaching into your soul
    she soars ever upward, holding you tight
    carrying you to new heights
    showing you the path for dreams
    into the stars, into the heavens
    you soar and feel the freedom found only in dreams

    suddenly everything stops
    dizzy stands before you clearly now
    surrounded by stars and space
    you look into the eyes and see the soul
    and are warmed by the smile of friendship
    she takes both your hands in hers
    then the wind blows softly again
    you begin to hear the sound of words falling on your ears
    you listen.... eager to hear what comes....
    ~only you can guide your dreams ~
    ~only you can create the freedom in your mind~
    then as strangely as she appeared she is gone
    leaving you alone in the stars
    free to dream ~~~~~~~~~~

    Measure of Pain

    One wonders how much the soul can endure?
    Trials come,
    Heartache and despair follow...
    How much more? How much more can I endure?

    The road is so rough and long.
    I cry out in agony.
    My heart near breaking, my soul so weak....
    How much more? How much more can I endure?

    I look out the window and see no future.
    Only fog engulfing all around me.
    All I see is a dying tree imitating me.....
    How much more? How much more can I endure?

    Somewhere out there must be a path.
    A light, a way.
    Will I find it before it's too late.......
    How much more? How much more can I endure?

    The Year 2000

    Who was I before the year 2000?
    Wife of 22 years, mother, community volunteer, self-employed.

    What did I do in the year 2000?
    Moved from SC to North Carolina with my newborn & 2 young sons, change.
    Left behind my 2 older children, a daughter & son, ages 17 & 21, heartbreak.
    Moved in & restored an old home - my infant son got lead poisoning, worry.
    Burglaries - in one my bedding coated in a substance I was severely allergic to, fear.
    After a long separation from abusive husband finally was free & divorced, emptiness.
    Gave up fighting and lost my home becoming homeless with my children, exhaustion.
    Sold or lost most possessions, declared bankruptcy & moved to Missouri, abandoned.
    Lost most of my business clients from the two moves & instability, uncertainty.
    Helped give constant care for my grandfather for 2 months - then he died, pain.
    Buried my grandfather & reburied my grandmother beside him, grief.
    Buried 2 great aunts, an uncle, a cousin, the guy across the street and my dog, sorrow.
    Held my children each time they cried, tried to keep my own tears to myself, despair.
    I'm glad the year 2000 is over, it was a sad & painful year for me and for my children.

    What will the future hold?
    Only God knows. I can only pray the future will be brighter.

    Hope

    For so long, only darkness surrounds the depths of her soul.
    Such a tortured soul, in so much pain and anguish.
    Even in love - the mountains held such deep ravines.
    Her smile hid a lifetime of untold abuse and ugliness.

    Her chance comes. She escapes running frantically with her children.
    More horrors, mental agony, unjust reprimand, sickness and death.
    The road is not an easy one, danger lurks at every turn,
    Loneliness envelopes her each night as the children lie sleeping.

    Such a tormented soul, haunted by ghosts of the past.
    Exhausted from the long road to freedom,
    Wearily she guides her children thru the darkness.
    She struggles constantly, onward, forward, searching for peace.

    A light shines in the window giving faint hope.
    Tears fall from her face as she ponders the future.
    The baby sleeps in her arms reminding her of responsibility.
    Will there ever be love without pain for her? Does she dare hope?

    Confusion

    So many decisions....
    So many choices....
    So many pathways....
    So many directions.....

    I decide.
    I choose.
    I walk.
    I go.

    They say I don't know my mind.
    They say I make bad choices.
    They say I cannot see the way.
    They say I go the wrong direction.

    Who but I can choose my way?
    Who but I must live with my choices?
    Who but I will face the consequences?
    I will make my own way. I will go the direction of my mind.

    Gail Ann(573) 470-5806spiritguidedhealer@gmail.com

    Home | Reiki Healing | Herbs | Articles | SouthernPRIDE | Links
    --> Nature's Healing Elixir - a natural remedy for pain <--